Awkward and Awesome Thursday

AWKWARD

Please note, this is the exact same man and exact same photo.

Now, let's take a look at the progression...

far right: no tan, no 6 pack

middle: a little tan, full 6 pack

far left: super tan, small 6 pack

It's a wonder what photoshop can do!

Here's an up close shot for your viewing pleasure

Black Friday shopping with your entire family. I mean, I can't judge them too much considering Black Friday started at 8 p.m. this year, but this is not how I would recommend shopping. 3 kids? No thanks.

Naner said he was going to take Zoe in the Baby Bjorn next year and teach her to poke people in the eyes. 

No-bake cookies. They look so gross, but taste so good.

I would consider this batch a fail...unless you like to eat cookies with a spoon.

This outfit. I mean, I'm no fashionista but last time I checked this look isn't attractive on anyone. Very Miley Cyrus-esque, no?

The mob of people surrounding the video game display on Black Friday. Nerd alert!

AWESOME

If snow on Black Friday doesn't put you in the Christmas spirit, I don't know what will.

(despite the fact that it was fake)

My mug shot for my Handgun License. I was so annoyed that they wouldn't let me smile, so I had to smirk. 

Mom (looking at the reflection on the picture): "Is that smoke from firing the gun?"

Me: "No, that's the reflection from taking a picture of a picture. Besides, I took that at Walgreens so how in the world would it be gun smoke?" 

Mom: "Oh. Yeah..."

Jacob and I at the Festival of Light. It was so great having him down for the weekend and it makes me even more excited for Christmas!

My Black Friday purchases. I was so disappointed in the sales this year, but that didn't stop me from stocking up on DVDs (for myself and a few others). 

The fact that my sister-in-law, Cassie, not only embraces my creepy picture taking but encourages it. She actually points things out now and tells me to take pictures of it. Gotta love her!

My Favorite Time of Year

I could go on and on about all that I am thankful for this year, but that would be a never-ending list, and rather boring, so instead you get this...
If you know me at all, you know that one of my favorite day of the year is quickly approaching.
No, not Thanksgiving...BLACK FRIDAY!
My Weight Watchers Point Tracker won't be the only thing getting a workout this week, that's for sure. I train all year for this day (okay, we all know that's a lie--I don't train for anything), but I do take it very seriously.
Exhibit A:

My shopping spreadsheet from last year.
Exhibit B: My post-Black Friday blog post from last year

Unfortunately, there isn't much that I want this year; in fact, the deals kind of suck. Plus, it's rather annoying that the sales start at 8 p.m. on Thursday this year because you can't consecutively hit stores (I'm going to end up with a lot of lag time between store openings).  Nevertheless, you better believe I'll be out there in the crazy crowds fighting for the best DVDs deals!
Oh, and you're crazy if you think I'm sharing my tips with you--it's taken years to perfect our attack!

I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving and an even better Black Friday!

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

AWKWARD
*Ding* new email New guy at work: "So, I was going to ask you in your office, but decided not to. I think we should go to lunch next week." Me (after waiting about 30 minutes): "Well, I have a boyfriend in Arizona, so unless you want to go as friends, I'm out." New guy at work: "Sounds like a plan!" (which is an awkward response to a rejection, anyways) Me: no response New guy at work: "Besides, I have a boyfriend in California." Me: no response New guy at work: "That last line was a joke." Me: no response
Female coworker: "Have you decided you want me to set you up yet? I have another friend." Me: "No. I have a boyfriend." Female coworker: "Oh. Fine." Me: no response Female coworker: "Do you have any certified country single friends?" Me: "No."
We've been noticing a decrease in our eggs lately, so I decided to watch one of the hens when we let her out of the chicken house. I watched her run across the lawn and crawl under the push mower. So, we moved the push mower to discover that the freaking hen has been hoarding eggs! Just so you know, this is about two weeks worth of eggs, plus a random brown egg (still not sure how that got there, because she most definitely didn't lay an egg that big). 

The model I used to make Zoe's Thunder tutu. Let's hope that my niece looks nothing like this...

This isn't awkward, but it most definitely isn't awesome--have you guys seen the Black Friday ads this year? They suck! I'm so disappointed. Looks like I will just be buying DVDs this year...

AWESOME
Not only is Jacob coming to spend Thanksgiving with me, he's also coming for Christmas!
 Zoe will be here any day now! Technically, she isn't due until 12/12/12, but I'm ready for her anytime now. Seriously, Cass, anytime now! 
Making Christmas wish lists! I will never see 90% of it, but it's still fun to dream.
The awesome diaper wreath my mom and I made for Cassie's shower:

 The diaper cake we made:

The food table:

spa water, homemade cupcakes, pink M&Ms, homemade sugar cookies, pink chocolate fondue, and hot chocolate

Photo Flashbacks

Thought you might enjoy some awkward photos of me from way back when...

I seriously look stoned. 

Either my mom put cough syrup in my bottle, or I just woke up from a nap.

Three points of interest in this photo:

1. Anthony's glasses

2. Naner's neck (what in the world was he doing?)

3. My hands (why would the photographer not have done something with them?)

Why my mom thought it would be cute for me to hug a gum-ball machine, I will never know... An additional point of interest: my dress is actually smocked with gum-ball machines.

What's wrong with this picture?

Perhaps the fact that I'm old enough to stand, yet still chugging my food down in an infant feeder?

Digging for gold, cause Ken just wasn't good enough.

Oh ya know, just practicing my shooting...

You have no idea how many times I smashed my fingers in that drawer.

Most parents tell children not to eat batter because of the raw eggs (I still say that's just a cover for them to eat the batter/dough), yet here is my mom feeding me batter. CLASSIC

Clearly I thought the gingerbread house looked good. I managed to climb up on the table for that one!

Why yes, yes I am sitting in a laundry basket sucking on a bottle of laundry detergent (please don't call DHS, it was clearly sealed). When I asked my mom why she wasn't watching me, her response was that she was getting the camera...

Sleeping on the fireplace.  I might have been a little narcoleptic as a child.

Also, that blankie went EVERYWHERE with me. My mom actually had to sew silky ribbons on my clothes when I was school-age so I wouldn't be THAT kid who carried her blankie to school. 

And I saved the best for last...sometimes, all a girl needs to make her bad hair day better is a little polish.

And in case you were wondering, yes, I was bald for the first year of my life. Now you know why I never cut my hair. It has taken this long just to grow it out! 

Awesome Thursday

Unfortunately for you, this has been a seemingly un-awkward week. While I did get hit on by car salesman, discover hair all over my black work clothes (stupid long, shedding hair), and trip on a rug, the awesomeness just outweighs everything else.
AWESOME

I took maternity pictures!

Okay, let me rephrase that, I used my sister-in-law's professional camera to take maternity pictures of her.  I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself, and even jumped into a few photos with her!

Lord, please let me look that gorgeous when I'm knocked up (in the unforeseeable future). 

I signed up for a Concealed Carry class. 

Oklahoma JUST changed the law to Open Carry, but you still have to have a License to Carry.

I've wanted to do it FOREVER and finally motivated myself to do it.

So, as of next Saturday, I will have a license to pack heat.

Now to pick out my pink gun...

I bought this gorgeous rug from IKEA several weeks ago. 

It looks great in my office!

BTW, here are pictures of my office:

And the most awesome thing?

I bought a NEW car!!!! 

This is my very first brand new car and I did it all by myself (research, test drives, price negotiation, and financing). I feel so independent!

Here is the new beauty:

Oh how I love my brand new Nissan Juke : )

Not Your Typical Election Day Post

Unlike a lot of people bloggers, I'm not going to sit here and remind you to go vote. Because, quite frankly, I couldn't care less if you do or not.
I try to stay out of politics, for the most part.  I've seen it cause way too many arguments over the years.
The following statement will probably result in a loss of followers, but who cares... Truth be told, I never registered to vote.    I've never been interested in politics (in the least) and let's be honest here--my one measly vote will not make a difference.  
When asked who I would vote for, I said "Oh, I don't know, probably Romney." Friend: "Why?" Me: "Because he seems to be for the rich people." Friend: "You aren't rich." Me: "No, but I don't like my hard earned tax dollars going to Joe Shmoe sitting over there on his unemployed, disabled butt.  Friend: "You clearly haven't followed the debates." Me: "Nope, and that's why I'm not voting."
If you are an Obama fan (which a lot of people seem to be), I bet you're glad I'm not taking my politically uneducated rear to the polls. If you're a Romney fan, I have my fingers crossed for you!
If you're going to leave me nasty comments about how it's my civic duty or Christian obligation to vote, save it for a non-voting blogger who cares, because I sure as heck don't!
Regardless of who wins, the sun will come up tomorrow (unless you live in a Rain Forest, prone to rain) and the world will keep spinning (which is a weird concept, if you think about it).

On the other hand, here is what I would vote for: Stop giving deadbeat parents repeated chances to get their children back. One strike, you're out. Student Debt forgiveness.  Those MBA loans are going to suck! 4 day work weeks Cheap gas Lower taxes (which every President promises) Weight Watchers Point values on every product so I don't have to sit and calculate everything I shove into my mouth.  Oh and, every person will have to pass tests in order to reproduce. None of this having 9 kids by 8 different daddies, living off the government crap. 

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

AWKWARD
Cleaning out my car for the first time in a year and filling an entire bag with trash.   I promise, I'm not a nasty person--it was all paper...

Breaking a mirror. Here's to seven years of bad luck! FML

Why would you need a warranty on a burial vault?  How will we ever know if it leaks or not? 

Having to wear this lovely outfit to go outside and put coats on the mini horses because it was THAT cold. 

AWESOME
Getting everything ready for Zoe's baby shower.   Pictures of the diaper cake and wreath to come!
Bonus checks.  Need I say more?

Okay, this MIGHT should go on the awkward list, but I seriously love anything having to do with the Holocaust. Is it sad that I can't wait to watch these documentaries?
Getting THREE casual days at work this week (one of which, we got to wear sweats)!  
Losing 12 pounds and successfully avoiding Halloween candy aside from 3 pieces. I mean, I deserve major kudos for that! Last year, I lived on Halloween candy for months!