I Swear, People Don't Want Me to Have Nice Things...

After a near death experience a car was about 6 inches from hitting my bumper going 70 mph,  I decided people don't want me to have nice things. The reasoning behind this theory?  Said crazy driver was in a ghetto P.O.S. car (did I mention, it was yellow). No less that 5 minutes down the road, I saw a Jeep almost flip because of people driving like maniacs.
After years of extensive research watching idiots on the road, I have come up with this highly scientific list of drivers:
1. Grandmas: You know the type, the ones who go 10 miles under the speed limit and come to complete stops before turning. The type that you often find yourself honking your horn at and speeding around.  These drivers are typically older and drive a Cadillac/Buick or similar boat.
2. Brown Nosers: The drivers who drive exactly the speed limit (maybe even one mph under the speed limit), promptly stop behind the white line on YELLOW lights, and who never think of getting in the fast lane unless they repent afterwards.  These drivers can typically be found in a Focus, Cavalier, or Silverado.
3.  Daredevils: If you are a daredevil, you often find yourself going several mph over the speed limit, driving with your knees while you apply makeup/eat dinner/paint your fingernails, and get angry when people mess up your cruise control. Daredevils own cars like Mustangs, Chargers, or Corvettes. 
4. Ticking Time Bombs: Drivers who suck at merging, cut people off, come close to causing wrecks on a daily basis, and who change lanes 4 at a time. These drivers are typically in P.O.S. cars, for obvious reasons. 
I think I fall into the Daredevil category. What about you?
Also, if you're interested in swapping for the month of January, please let me know ASAP!