A Vivid Memory

Day 31, Friday: A vivid memory

This week has been so busy that I don't even remember what I did 5 minutes ago, let alone think of a vivid memory. 

I remember when I decided to do this challenge on May 1st--I thought I was crazy then and I still think I'm crazy for doing it, but by goodness, I was determined to accomplish the goal of posting everyday in May. 

Prior to the challenge, I had barely posted at all this year. While the challenge reminded me of just how much I missed blogging and my blogger friends, it also reminded me how much I hate being told what to write about. 

It might take me awhile to start blogging on a regular basis again, but I'll definitely be back!

Congratulations to everyone who managed to accomplish the challenge!  

Letting Go

Day 30, Thursday: React to this term: Letting Go

Goodness, I honestly don't even know where to begin on this topic...letting go is so important.

Let Go of ex boyfriends--they're exes for a reason.

Let Go of people who treat you poorly--humans are creatures of habit and will continue to treat you that way.

Let Go of the past--you can't change it and besides, why would you want to? Everything that happened in the past made you who you are today.

Let Go of things you no longer need--unless, of course, you want to be on Hoarders.

Let Go of things you cannot control--give it all to God.

On the contrary, NEVER let go of your dreams!

Playlist

Day 29, Wednesday: Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories.
 I decided to share my top 5 most played songs. Please don't judge me...

I like to call this the journey to a decent picture...

Day 28, Tuesday: Only pictures

How do photographers do it?

A letter to you

Day 27, Monday: A letter to your readers
It's a holiday, so I'll keep this short and sweet. 

You guys are amazing!  I am so thankful for the friendships that I have developed with each and every one of you.  Thank you for taking the time to read my crap blog--it means the world to me!

For your reading pleasure

Day 26, Sunday: Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

Read this article if you would like to discover some absolutely absurd reasoning behind the Oklahoma tornadoes. It's so outrageous, it's almost humorous. Why do people find it necessary to share their dumb opinions on anything and everything?

I'll never cut my hair short

Day 25, Saturday: Something someone told you about yourself that you'll never forget (good or bad)

When I was in 8th Grade, I got this real stylish cute hair cut (kind of like a long bob); however, I quickly learned that not everyone thought my haircut was as cute as I did--one of those people being my childhood crush. 

One day he looked me in the eyes, making me giddy like the little school girl that I was, and said "Alana, you look like a dyke with short hair."

And that my friends, is why my hair literally has not been cut (aside from a trim here and there) since that day.   

Maybe I'm not so great after all...

Day 24, Friday: Your top 3 worst traits

I know this will come as a shock to you all, but I'm not perfect; you see...

1. It's often difficult for others to decipher whether I'm being serious or sarcastic. 

When in doubt, just figure that I'm being sarcastic. 

2. I'm an avid interrupter. 

I know this is one of the rudest traits a person can possess and it's definitely not something I consciously do, but I often catch myself doing it. I promise, I'm working on quitting this horrible habit. Is there a support group for this?

3.  I pick at my toenails. 

I used to be a constant nail-biter and I finally broke myself of that habit my mom finally beat it out of me. 

Okay, she didn't physically beat me, but she might as well have--she took away my freakin nail polish until I quit biting my nails! 

Now, I only bite my nails if I'm extremely bored (with absolutely nothing to do); but I still find myself picking at my toes (often resulting in me having to cut my toenails too short/small to get rid of ingrown toenails). Disgusting, I know. 

Real World Life Lessons

Day 23, Thursday: Things you've learned that school won't teach you

I am a HUGE advocate for higher education and have even toyed with the idea of going back for my Doctorate at some point, but I do realize that there are some things in life that school just doesn't teach you...

1. Common sense.

This isn't technically something I've "learned," as common sense can't be taught, but it is very important to note. I've often heard it said that most people don't have both common sense AND book smarts, but I'd like to think that I have at least a little of both. Nevertheless, the general lack of common sense I see in people never ceases to amaze me. 

2. The fact that life isn't fair. 

This is never an easy lesson to learn and my experience is that this lesson is typically realized as the result of a broken heart (for one reason or another).

3. What goes around comes around.

When life another person doesn't treat you fairly, it's always nice to see them get what they deserve; although, I'm not a very patient person, so it never seems to "come around" quick enough for my liking.

My Soapbox

Day 22, Wednesday: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)
When I thought about this topic last week, I had a difficult time figuring out what I would blog about...seeing as I'm someone who is very easily annoyed, I could rant about a lot of things!

Topics I thought about: 
People who live off the government.
People who abuse kids.
People who don't seem to know what birth control is, which results in a cycle of them having TONS of kids and living off the government, then their kids growing up to do the same thing (I know this is a rare occurrence, but nevertheless--annoying).   Terrorists/murderers and how I feel like the families who lose loved ones should be able inflict physical pain on these people.
People who lie.
People who have no manners/children who have no manners.
People who curse around their children/allow their children to curse.
The list goes on and on...

However, in light of the recent events in Oklahoma, i'm having a hard time thinking about or talking about anything but the tornadoes. So today I'm going to rant about things related to national disasters (specifically, tornadoes):
1. Why do people find it necessary to try to scam other people? There are people who have lost loved ones/possessions/homes, yet there are people who have set up fake bank accounts or made up stories to get people to make donations that don't actually make it to any victims. Instead, your hard-earned donated money goes in some greedy person's pocket (who is probably sitting on their unemployed bum waiting on the government to send them checks). I honestly don't understand how people could be so heartless and take advantage of people like that, but it seems to happen ALL the time.
2. Why do looters exist? I know looters were bad after Katrina, the Joplin tornadoes, and Sandy (just to name a few), and they have already arrested looters in Oklahoma. WHY in the world do people think this is a good idea? People have just lost their belongings and homes and many cannot even get into their neighborhoods to sift through the remains before looters can get there. I know Law Enforcement is doing everything they can to prevent this occurrence, but it shouldn't be a problem!!  Side note: Don't forget that we are an Open Carry State. Let's get a few people up there to protect the remains of these homes, I bet that will take care of this problem REAL quick!  (for the record, I do not find violence an answer to every problem, but I do find it to be a solution to some problems)
3. Why do people feel the need to sightsee and take pictures of the disaster areas? It took my brother almost 5 hours to make a 25 minute commute home because traffic was SO backed up and they were having to ID people to prove their residency.  (which my brother has yet to update since moving to Moore BTW)  
4. Why does our government cover the cost for federal inmates to sit in prison with heating and air conditioning, cable, and 3 meals a day while we can't make sure that all schools/daycares in Oklahoma have basements/cellars to protect the children of Oklahoma? Can we please get a ballot to select where our hard-earned tax dollars are applied?
5.  This isn't a complaint, but I would like to get on a soapbox to thank everyone for their outpourings of support. I keep seeing news reports about celebrities (ahem *Kevin Durant*), corporations, and organizations making LARGE donations to the disaster relief. I cannot say enough good things about these kind-hearted citizens. Not to mention the millions of people across the world sending donations and keeping the victims and their families in their thoughts and prayers. At the end of the day, despite the horrible people who take advantage of these situations, our state country always manages to pull together in times of need to show support. I'm so glad to be an Oklahoman, and more importantly, an American. 
God Bless the USA!

 

My favorite posts

Day 21, Tuesday: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives

That time that I wrote a letter to myself.
That time that I listed my beliefs.
That time that I discussed my thoughts on foster care. 
That time that I shared my expectations for 2013. 
That time that I shared my opinion, or lack-there-of, on politics. 
That time that I won the Dirty Messy Hair Challenge. 

Oklahoma Update

Thank you all for the thoughts, prayers, and messages regarding the Oklahoma tornadoes! My family is all safe and our houses are all still standing, but others aren't so lucky. 
I, along with others all across the country, have been attached to the news coverage for the past 6 hours.  I always say that tornado coverage should be an olympic sport, because it's so addictive, but this sad day is no joking matter.
I selfishly thank God that my brothers, sister-in-laws, and beautiful nieces and nephews are all safe; while my heart breaks for those who lost loved ones (especially the innocent children in those elementary schools) and I find myself in constant prayer for the families who now find themselves homeless. 
Regretfully, earlier this afternoon, I was so concerned about the hail damage to my car that I didn't give the impending storm a second thought and I now realize just how petty I was being--material belongings should not be my concern at this time, as there are much more important things to worry about.  
Please keep everyone in your prayers during this heart-wrenching time. 

Struggles

Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

Honestly, there are two very different struggles going on right now:
1. Figuring out how we can be a part of G & J's lives without confusing them. They have been having severe behavior issues and have been telling the Therapist that they miss us, so we decided to have them come stay with us last weekend. It was just like old times and they seemed to enjoy themselves; but how to we stay a part of their lives without confusing them? Usually when foster kids go home, we are no longer a part of their lives, so we have to just have to figure out how to handle everything. At the end of the day, everything we do has to be in the best interest of the children, so please pray that we do the right thing!
2. Letting go of Baby C. I wish I could still be a part of her life, but unfortunately that's just not the case. It's hard being able to see G & J and longing for that same connection with her. I didn't become a foster parent with the intentions of adopting, but Baby C stole my heart. I would have kept her in a heartbeat, I just wish I had gotten the chance... Then, to have lost all of my videos of her crawling and laughing just breaks my heart. I will never hear her little laugh again. 

A few of my favorite blogs

Day 19, Sunday: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them

Well, it's clear that I didn't read all of the prompts before starting this challenge, because I actually already did this post. To see five of my favorite blogs, read this post. 

Have I ever mentioned that I'm GREAT at not following directions?

Childhood Memories

Day 18, Saturday: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.
I had an amazing childhood, so it would be nearly impossible for me to narrow it down to one great story; so I will tell you three things about my childhood, which according to many people, I logically should have been too young to remember.

Memory #1: I distinctly remember having chicken pox on my 1st birthday. I don't remember the pain of chicken pox or anything about my birthday party. What I do remember, is that my mom creatively put red stickers on my baby doll to make it look like she had chicken pox, too. She was so excited to show me and thought it would make me feel better. I remember her sitting down on the ugly floral print couch that sat in front of the picture window in the living room and handing me my baby doll and I distinctly remember throwing an absolute temper tantrum, screaming bloody murder until she promptly removed the stickers. I couldn't stand the thought of my baby doll not being perfect. Looking back, I probably broke my mom's heart on that very day. I described this scenario to my mom a few years ago and she was shocked that I not only remembered the occurrence, but could describe it with such accuracy. Child genius, I tell you! 

Memory #2: We went to my grandmother's house several times a week, so I have lots of memories from her house. My PaPaw passed away before my 2nd birthday, but I remember running in through the garage door, turning the kitchen corner, and looking up to see if he was sitting in his chair. I LOVED my PaPaw and always wanted him to hold me. He was always afraid he'd hurt me, so he rarely held me without first placing me on a pillow.  I so wish I had gotten to grow up with him in my life!

Memory #3: I had full-blown Scarlet Fever when I was a few years old. The doctors were so shocked that I had it because it was so rare. I remember feeling awful and I remember my skin peeling EVERYWHERE. Imagine the worst sunburn you've ever had, add in a fever and you can somewhat understand what it was like! I remember that my brothers used to physically rip the skin off my body--it wasn't painful, but definitely wasn't fun.  

Favorite Photo of Myself

Day 17, Friday: A favorite photo of yourself and why
I don't have a lot of pictures of myself, because I delete most of them, but out of the few I like, I couldn't choose just one as my favorite...

I love this photo because it shows my personality--fun and bubbly

I love this photo because it shows me at my favorite place--the beach. No matter how cold it is, I would sit out there all day if I could. 

Finally, I love this photo because it showcases my pure happiness at accomplishing one of biggest goals--getting my MBA. (this was taken the day of graduation, right after they gave me my graduation ring).

Overcoming Obstacles

Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it
I'm not really one to complain, and quite frankly I don't have much to complain about; the only thing I can think of is the fact that I grew up in pretty much a one-parent household. Because of this, I kind of have a negative opinion of the fatherly role. I fully believe that a child can be raised in a loving, healthy one-parent environment.

You might be thinking, "Why is that a problem? I don't see anything difficult about that." The difficult part is overcoming those feelings when trying to plan for my future.  Quite honestly, I would be perfectly content being a single mom, because I know it can be done and it can be done well. How will I be able to cope with having to share my children and the parental roles? Will I ever be able to hear "She's a daddy's girl," or "He looks just like his dad" without cringing?

I honestly don't know how to overcome these feelings; luckily, I don't have to do it anytime soon.  Does anyone have a similar experience or advice?