Awkward & Awesome Thursday

Awkward:

Doing my nightly workout routine and looking around to realize 

that I don't recognize ANY of the other people working out.

That's right...the gym was full of Resolutioners, 
slowly dying on the treadmills.

Kudos to you for making lifestyle changes,
but heed my warning:

If you mess up my workout routine 
or "forget" to sterilize the machines after you use them (again), 

I WILL trip you while you're "running" on the treadmill. 

Nobody wants to touch the equipment after it has been
desecrated by your bodily juices. 

Thank you and good luck with your resolutions : )

This sign that I saw at the Clinic.

Specifically, the frequent urination and weight loss pictures...

The guy I saw at Walmart.
He was dressed in head-to-toe camouflage.
Being from the South, this is a fairly normal sight;
however, this camo wasn't hunting apparel--it was LOUNGEwear.
Camo hat, camo sweatshirt, camo sweat pants,
and camo house shoes.
What was Camo Man doing in Walmart?
Buying beer.
I tried to get a picture of him, but he walked away too fast.
Maybe he went to find Camo wife...


The random email I got the other day.
Warning: if you don't like disturbingly gross things, skip on down to Awesome!

It's way too long to post the whole thing, but it started out like this:
"BABE...I guess your not getting any of my email huh? In case u dont know who this is its ME ADRIANA...we used to chat a bit of facebook and then I think u deleted me :( haha."
And ended like this:
"im hoping to see u in my chat room...remember its 100% free with this code im gonna give u...just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS  INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN I SEE U hahahahahahahahahaha....k babe im out...kisses xoxo."

Umm...WTF?!

First of all, if this was a legit email (not a scam),
I could understand why this guy would have
deleted "Adriana" from facebook.
I mean, sister doesn't know how to use punctuation and is
CLEARLY a...for lack of better word...whore bag.
Second of all, who in their right mind would actually
believe this crap and click on the link?!
Finally, I guess this is the kind of junk mail you get
when you have your email address on your blog.

Awesome:

Effective Marketing...

I mean, it made me want to stop and
check out the mechanic get my oil changed...


PINK ambulances

It's hard to tell, but that is a pastel pink ambulance!
If I ever get into an accident (knock on wood)
and need an ambulance, I hope I get a pink one!!


Losing at least TWO sizes
Lately, I have been working my butt off (literally).
I joined the gym a few months ago hoping to tone up
and lose a few pounds.
Little did I know I would lose TWO sizes
in a relatively short amount of time.
The downside to this?
(almost making it an awkward instead of an awesome)...
I've lost all of the weight from my butt and thighs.
My ghetto booty is slowly disappearing;
pretty soon, I'll be slipping out of chairs.

See for yourself:
These are the Silver jeans I bought in November
(which were a size down from what I was wearing last summer)...

They are seriously sagging.
I officially have a saggy butt when wearing the jeans.


These tiny little fingers...

It is just so awesome, to me,
that this little bundle of joy
(who wasn't even supposed to be born until today)
is perfectly healthy.  She is such a blessing to me.
Cheers to being 2 months old and almost 5 pounds!
In the two weeks we have had her, she has gained 14 ounces...
who have thought I'd be so happy about weight gain?!

Until next time, 

The Intelligent Blonde

You Get What You Pay For

Over the years, 

I have discovered products that you can buy a cheaper version of,

and some that you just HAVE to pay the expensive tab for;

after all, you get what you pay for.

Some of the products that you can't skimp on include:

Hair straighteners 

As much as I'd like the little $30 straighteners at Walmart to work well,

the truth is...they suck.

Personally, I find Chi straighteners to be the best.  

Toilet Paper

Let's be real, the cheap brands have NOTHING on Charmin.

Mascara

Because I have blonde eyelashes, mascara is a beauty staple for me.

I have tried every kind under the sun and have found 

that the cheap kinds just don't compete. 

They may work for some people...but I like all-in-one mascaras

that give me long, curled, and full eyelashes...

so far, none of the cheap mascaras have been able to do that for me.

Because I'm so picky, unfortunately, I usually fork out around $30/tube.

Graham Crackers

I didn't discover this until last week, 

but the cheap brands just don't taste as good.

In fact, they taste AWFUL.

I'll pay a dollar more and buy a product that's edible. 

What items do you break the bank for? 

Until next time, 

The Intelligent Blonde

Not-So-Intelligent Blonde Moments...

While sitting in the Burger King drive-thru, 

watching the worker who was going impossibly slow...

Me: "Does his arm not work?"

Mom: "No, it does, it's just in his pants."

Long Pause

Me laughing

Mom: "POCKETS. His arm is in his pants pockets." 

It was too late to redeem herself--the damage was done, 

we were both laughing uncontrollably
and the guy was trying to figure out what was going on.  

Inevitably, 

jokes about him touching her credit card 

and food (after his hand had been in his pants) ensued.



On another note...

I've been trying to think of good ways to network our blogs 

and I have decided to start doing button swaps.

Reasons why you should swap buttons with me:

1. It will bring more people to your blog (and mine)

2.  It will give me easy access to your blog,

so when Blogger messes up and leaves your posts out of my feed

(because we all know that happens...A LOT), 

I can creep catch-up with one click of a button.

3.  Umm...those are the only reasons I could think of,

but I felt like I needed three points.

If you're interested in swapping buttons, 

leave a comment with your email address 

and I will get in contact with you.

I would LOVE to swap buttons with you!

Until next time, 

The Intelligent Blonde