Thursday, January 5, 2012

Awkward & Awesome Thursday


Doing my nightly workout routine and looking around to realize 
that I don't recognize ANY of the other people working out.
That's right...the gym was full of Resolutioners, 
slowly dying on the treadmills.
Kudos to you for making lifestyle changes,
but heed my warning:
If you mess up my workout routine 
or "forget" to sterilize the machines after you use them (again), 
I WILL trip you while you're "running" on the treadmill. 
Nobody wants to touch the equipment after it has been
desecrated by your bodily juices. 
Thank you and good luck with your resolutions : )

This sign that I saw at the Clinic.
Specifically, the frequent urination and weight loss pictures...

The guy I saw at Walmart.
He was dressed in head-to-toe camouflage.
Being from the South, this is a fairly normal sight;
however, this camo wasn't hunting apparel--it was LOUNGEwear.
Camo hat, camo sweatshirt, camo sweat pants,
and camo house shoes.
What was Camo Man doing in Walmart?
Buying beer.
I tried to get a picture of him, but he walked away too fast.
Maybe he went to find Camo wife...

The random email I got the other day.
Warning: if you don't like disturbingly gross things, skip on down to Awesome!

It's way too long to post the whole thing, but it started out like this:
"BABE...I guess your not getting any of my email huh? In case u dont know who this is its ME ADRIANA...we used to chat a bit of facebook and then I think u deleted me :( haha."
And ended like this:
"im hoping to see u in my chat room...remember its 100% free with this code im gonna give u...just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS  INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN I SEE U hahahahahahahahahaha....k babe im out...kisses xoxo."

First of all, if this was a legit email (not a scam),
I could understand why this guy would have
deleted "Adriana" from facebook.
I mean, sister doesn't know how to use punctuation and is
CLEARLY a...for lack of better word...whore bag.
Second of all, who in their right mind would actually
believe this crap and click on the link?!
Finally, I guess this is the kind of junk mail you get
when you have your email address on your blog.


Effective Marketing...
I mean, it made me want to stop and
check out the mechanic get my oil changed...

PINK ambulances
It's hard to tell, but that is a pastel pink ambulance!
If I ever get into an accident (knock on wood)
and need an ambulance, I hope I get a pink one!!

Losing at least TWO sizes
Lately, I have been working my butt off (literally).
I joined the gym a few months ago hoping to tone up
and lose a few pounds.
Little did I know I would lose TWO sizes
in a relatively short amount of time.
The downside to this?
(almost making it an awkward instead of an awesome)...
I've lost all of the weight from my butt and thighs.
My ghetto booty is slowly disappearing;
pretty soon, I'll be slipping out of chairs.

See for yourself:
These are the Silver jeans I bought in November
(which were a size down from what I was wearing last summer)...

They are seriously sagging.
I officially have a saggy butt when wearing the jeans.

These tiny little fingers...
It is just so awesome, to me,
that this little bundle of joy
(who wasn't even supposed to be born until today)
is perfectly healthy.  She is such a blessing to me.
Cheers to being 2 months old and almost 5 pounds!
In the two weeks we have had her, she has gained 14 ounces...
who have thought I'd be so happy about weight gain?!

Until next time, 
The Intelligent Blonde


  1. Handsome mechanic on duty - I love it! Effective marketing indeed! That diabetes picture had me laughing. I know that's not the intention but come on!

  2. I would totally stop and get my car checked if there was a hot mechanic on duty :) and kudos to you for losing weight!! I've gotta start getting my butt in shape!

  3. I really need to get my butt in gear and hit the gym. Like bad!!!! Totally jealous of you losing 2 sizes! And that mechanic sign? Pretty much the best sign ever! I would have totally stopped!!

  4. Um I totally would have stopped to check out the mechanic;)
    And woohoo for fitting into smaller jeans! You go girlfriend! :)

  5. Damn girl, you are looking so skinny! I am always afraid to buy new clothes because my size fluctuates so much! I went to the gym the other day and it was empty...I think people in my town already gave up on their resolutions!

  6. I am cracking up over the awkward! Was that email forreal?! And I totally laughed over the camo man because I could totally see my boyfriend doing that :/ Lol He tried wearing his camo pj's out to a basketball game he had... wearing them as his "warm up" gear. I kid you not. I got in the car and immediately told him to take them off! Lol We both laughed, but it was an awful sight. I love all the awesomes too! :)


  7. So... Just taking a minute to complain... WTF BLOGGER?! I haven't seen the past two posts... I'm doing some catch-up RIGHT NOW!

    Anyways... bahaha Resolutions... I remember when I was in college and attending the UGA gym... I HATED the month of January because the gym was so full of people that were going to QUIT by Feb.... just taking um MY space... haha jk... kinda!

    That guy at WalMart.... sounds like you were at my local WallyWorld back home... baha! Totally normal!

    As for that email.... justplainweird. ew.ew.ew.

    Congrats on the weight loss... YOU GO GIRL! haha... I'd consider it a reason to buy new pants :)

    And that picture... OMG... so precious!!!!! Melts my heart! BLESS!

  8. Haha. I hate it when people do not wipe the machines at the gym. EW.

    And if I ever need to be taken away in an ambulance (knock on wood) I too, want it to be pink!

  9. Ha! I was the same way when I lost all the weight I did as well! I lost it though on my stomach and legs ONLY! Flat tummy, curvy hips! I have hips like no tomorrow and i truly despise them! Keep up the great work though doll!


  10. Loved this post! :) So great. You look amazing!

  11. Hahaha yeah... whenever I start to work out, the first place I see the losses are my butt and boobs. Gotta love it! Congrats on losing two sizes, though!!!

    And frackin' Wal-Mart. I'm not even surprised. The amount of camo you see at that store is more than slightly ridiculous.

    And... since I've just recently started following your blog... baby what?! You had a baby? I'm confuzzled.

  12. hahha, this post had me cracking up all the way through - from the New Years resolutioners' bodily fluids (yuck) to the handsome mechanic on duty! And go you for toning up and losing weight - you deserve a new and expensive pair of jeans! :)

  13. Awesome awkward day! Especially the mechanic & pink ambulance made me laugh, so cute:D
    Aww, and reading about your little baby just brought a little tear in my eye. :) She must have been so tiny on her birthday. I'm glad everything is ok with her :)

    Have a lovely weekend,

    Indie by Heart

  14. these are always some of my fave posts to read. you make me laugh and then melt with that baby picture. i do really like the effective marketing too :)


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