Thursday, December 29, 2011

Awkward & Awesome Thursday


Sitting down on a toilet seat only to discover it's wet.
Then the inevitable thoughts of whether it was pee or water...

When people I've known my whole life 
pronounce my name wrong.
It's not that big of a deal when strangers do it,
but if you've known me for more than a day,
you should know how to say it.
It's not that hard--sound it out.
Alana = Uh lan uh
Or Atlanta without the t's.
If you're still having trouble,
do what most of my family/friends do:
 drop the first "A," and call me Lana.

When the people who pronounce my name wrong
find out that they've been saying it wrong.
I rarely correct people, but it drives my friends/family crazy.
They will call you out on it and might will make you feel dumb.
My old roommate still talks about the time my mom corrected her.

When you think you recognize someone at the gym 
and do a double take
only to realize that it wasn't who you thought it was
and the guy (who you don't know) now thinks you were checking him out.

People who stare at themselves 
in the mirror while working out.
I've heard the excuse that it helps with form, blah, blah, blah...
I think it's just weird.
If you're that vain that you have to stare at yourself
all of the time, then you probably crap gold,
and don't let anything unhealthy pass your lips. don't need to be working out.


The fact that the surgeon let G wear her bow 
through surgery (to lance her eye).
We sent her in with it on, expecting them to make us take it off, 
and much to our surprise, she came out with it on!
I guess the surgeon understands the necessity of a bow.

This was a picture post-lancing.
Imagine how bad it looked before it was lanced...

"Assholes Finish First"
This is Tucker Max's second book.
I'm only 100 pages in and have died laughing many, many times.
It might prove to be better than
"I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell."
Go download/buy them now!
You won't regret it...unless you get offended easily.

Being right.
My ex (the one who was dating the teenager)
has decided he's going to write a book and include a section on
"reasons not to date a teenager."
The following is an excerpt:
Here’s just a small example: my ex had major heart surgery, 
I had a swollen gal bladder, we both barely said 2 words 
regarding our procedures besides being sore. 
Teenager (via text):  “ :( I feel like I'm dying, my nose is all stuffy, 
I just wanna stay in bed, I feel so so bad, I hurt all over” 
Me: "Well Then Take Some F@#$*ing (edited for content) 
Medicine, its just a runny nose.""
Can I get an Amen to that "I told you so?"

Baby C
That little (4lb 8oz to be exact) bundle of joy is so awesome.
I am already way too attached.
She is literally the perfect baby--
the only time you hear from her is when she's wet or hungry. 
Although, I do have to feed her every 2 1/2 hours (even during the night)...

Receiving the Versatile Blogger award from Sarah and Whitney.
You girls are too sweet for words!
If you don't already follow their blogs, shame on you!
Seriously though, go check them out. NOW. 

Guest blogging over here.

Until next time, 
The Intelligent Blonde


  1. Bahahaha... My husband is THAT GUY that watches himself in the mirror while working out... and he makes me do it too when I go to the gym with him... it seriously helps with form! I had no idea how crazy my left arm does.... It's so weak! (bahaha... slight sarcasm...) but I make fun of him... he's SO obsessed with bodybuilding... he's on an EXTREME BODYBUILDING DIET right now... and I'm about to DIE. Please come save me?!

    But I do LOVE LOVE LOVE the BOW! I'm obsessed with Bows! Maybe G & I could be bffs? bahaha


  2. bahahahaha. Poor girl! I will GLADLY come over there and save you (get you some real food)! I would feel way too awkward to ever watch myself in the mirror. ha ha. She never leaves the house without one!

  3. I loved reading this. I love the bow, I love that you love Max Tucker (and I will now be searching for his second book), I love the "I told you so". Awesome. Just awesome.

  4. Sarah--I'm glad you enjoyed it! You definitely need to check out his new book!!

  5. Oh those awkward moments make up lol don't they!! I hate sitting on the toilet when it's wet - that is no fun at all!

    It's my first time at your blog and loving it! Happy New Year!

  6. definitely laughed out loud/ found myself nodding several times throughout this post!

    & I'll totally be downloading the Max Tucker book you talked about. I loved I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell :)

  7. ohmygosh! how awesome is it that he's putting it in writing how great you were!! bahahaha so so so awesome! and thanks for the shout out! totally just started following you...didn't realize I wasn't til just now. whoops :)

  8. i love your awkward's...they are always so truthful and hilarious :)

  9. This is an amazing post! I agree with you on everything! When I lived in Paris, French people were never able to pronounce my name correctly and it was driving me nuts! It´s so impolite!

    Happy Friday!

    xx Ivana

    Stop by sometimes :)
    Macarons and Pearls

  10. ohmygoodness, i know what you mean about sitting on a wet toilet seat!!! i haaaate that! and i do obsess over whether it's water or pee too, so i end up pouring alcohol on my thighs just to be sure, haha soo awkward! ;)

    <3, Mimi

  11. I laughed out loud reading about your ex's troubles with the teen. Oh my gosh, I wouldn't stop laughing if I were you! That bow is so adorable.

  12. omg, sitting on a wet toilet seat! Worst thing EVER!!! The worst is if i'm out and can't shower until the end of the day! Loved your list!


  13. Cracking up! Esp when I went and read your ex bought his young girlfriend, or now exgf? a pillow pet for Christmas! Lol Love that little bow...she looks too sweet!



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