Saturday, February 20, 2010

I Just Betrayed Girls Everywhere...

I have a confession to make, an apology of sorts, to girls everywhere...
today, I taught the boy I baby-sit how to dump his girlfriend...

This time last year, his parents made me sit down and have a talk with him. They wanted me to convince him he was too young to date (he was 14 at the time), and that he should avoid girls at all costs. That talk didn't go over as well as they had hoped, and he got a girlfriend.

Today, he sat me down and asked advice on how to dump said girlfriend. I immediately felt two emotions:

At first it warmed my heart because he trusted me and wanted my advice.

Then, I was overtaken by a feeling of age. I have baby-sat these kids for years and they're all grown up now :(

However, I soon realized that he was implying I had been through MANY breakups and would therefore have a lot of do's and dont's. I then felt slightly offended. lol.
Nevertheless, I gave him tips on how to dump her.

I warned him that she would probably cry (seeing as they are so young and have been dating for over a year now), and that he should remain strong. He didn't really have a specific reason as to why he wanted to break up with her, so I told him he better make one up before he dumped her. lol. Lastly, I told him the most important thing was to not hug her, because if he did, he'd be a gonner--he'd be stuck with her forever. lol

I have to give the boy props for wanting to break up with her in person. Considering, my last boyfriend broke up with me via text, it's pretty chivalrous of a 15 year-old boy to be man enough to do it in person.

However, the poor boy already made a HUGE mistake. He should have done this last Friday instead of tomorrow. If he had done it on Friday he would have been rid of her by V-day and wouldn't have been considered a jerk because it wouldn't be the day before or the day of V-day. But because he waited until after V-day, he had to spend money on her for a stupid, overrated holiday.

I felt I needed to teach him the most valuable lesson he would ever learn, so I did.
Girls, this is where my apology comes in to play.

It's confession time...I am almost shamed to admit what is to follow....

prepare yourself...

I told him to dump girls before Christmas and to not get a new one until after V-day in order to avoid spending unnecessary money on women.

I just created the next player...

I apologize to women everywhere for my debauchery.

But I felt the need to pass on my wisdom in case I never have children of my own.
Somebody needs to know my player ways ;)

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