Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.
Honestly, there are two very different struggles going on right now:
1. Figuring out how we can be a part of G & J's lives without confusing them. They have been having severe behavior issues and have been telling the Therapist that they miss us, so we decided to have them come stay with us last weekend. It was just like old times and they seemed to enjoy themselves; but how to we stay a part of their lives without confusing them? Usually when foster kids go home, we are no longer a part of their lives, so we have to just have to figure out how to handle everything. At the end of the day, everything we do has to be in the best interest of the children, so please pray that we do the right thing!
2. Letting go of Baby C. I wish I could still be a part of her life, but unfortunately that's just not the case. It's hard being able to see G & J and longing for that same connection with her. I didn't become a foster parent with the intentions of adopting, but Baby C stole my heart. I would have kept her in a heartbeat, I just wish I had gotten the chance...
Then, to have lost all of my videos of her crawling and laughing just breaks my heart. I will never hear her little laugh again.